To Parents: What Your Teen With misophonia Wants You to Know.
I reached out to several teens to anonymously submit their answers to the question, “If you could tell your parents anything about your experience with misophonia, what would you say?” Here’s the top responses.
Trigger Waring - Self harm “It is really hard living with misophonia, and it affects me everywhere I go. You cannot tell me what I hear, because you don’t have this condition”
“ it’s not just a part of me, sometimes it feels like it’s who I am because of how much it can take over my life. I center my plans about who’s going to be there, how long I think I can last before I’m too drained, and if I can take breaks. The reason I hate going to school is because of how draining it constantly feels, I can’t even think about it when I’m at home.”
“I would tell them that even though it’s hard on everyone in the family, some things they do make me feel like my misophonia doesn’t matter and that just because I’ve had it for a while, it doesn’t hurt as much. (Which isn’t true.) misophonia is a daily struggle and I just want them to understand that even getting triggered once can ruin my day. In some ways I wish they would be a bit more accommodating. Even though they are trying to help, sometimes it’s not enough. I think only others with misophonia can truly understand the pain mentally and emotionally behind it. I wish everyone knew how it feels though.”
“I would tell them that it affects me in a way that nothing else does, and makes my daily life at least 10x harder. Many times it was the main factor in my self harm and suicidal thoughts, and it often makes me feel hopeless. When I come home from school I’m often overstimulated and on the verge of breaking down, and it would be great if they understood that and gave me space. When they compare a pet peeve of theirs to a misophonia trigger of mine, I feel frustration like no other and hope that they would try to understand just how much misophonia affects me daily.”
“It sucks”
So, what can parents learn from this?
Misophonia is a complex disorder, and there is a lot happening under the surface. It is a disorder that affects teens deeply, and makes every aspect of life harder to navigate. It is so easy for parents to brush it off, and ignore the true difficulties of misophonia, but truly taking the time to understand your teen goes a long way. Being there to support your teen in their struggles is SO important.
You may not know what’s going on. You may never. And that’s okay. Never pressure your child to tell you how they “really are.” Some people with misophonia prefer to keep their struggles to themselves, and pressuring them to tell you private details is not support.
What does support look like?
Support looks like caring enough to ask, and caring enough to drop it if your teen doesn’t want to talk.
It can look like creating safe places for them to confide in you, and it can look like creating a space for them to be alone at the end of the day.
Support looks like accommodating your child’s needs, and understanding what they are going through.
Support looks like helping them overcome their struggles in a loving, caring, gentle, and compassionate way.
Support looks different for each family, but the important thing is making an effort to support your teen, and open a door for your teen to ask for the help they may need.
Being a parent of a teen with misophonia can have a huge learning curve, but mutual understanding, love, and support will go a long long way in helping your teen. If you are interested in more resources and support, I highly recommend checking out the SoQuiet Parent support groups!